In a globalized world – and a barrage of societal, family and media pressure – we are all trying in vain to emulate someone famous, someone out there, someone who portrays success. We copy their styles of dress, their poses and their behaviours. We try to eat where they eat, meet who they meet and do what they do. And, in the process, something always feels missing; an utter lack of some sort that we cannot put our fingers on.
Perhaps it’s that we are trying in vain to be a copy of someone else. We are trying so hard at something that goes against the very grain of our being and, slowly but surely, we lose more and more awareness of who we really are. We think we are this and that but maybe if we dig deeper we realize it’s not at all the case. It’s just that our sense of self has become so warped that we think we are more like the person we were emulating when, in fact, we are in a space between no man’s land; no longer belonging to ourselves or someone else.
Did you know that there are special things that make you unique? You have your very own set of interests, skills, values and personality. The makeup of you is as unique as your finger print. So who are you and what makes you, YOU?
Let’s see how YOU can become more self aware this month and in the months to follow and how YOU can move out of the no man’s land and leap towards yourself.
Here are some things to ponder that will help provide you with deeper insight as you work your way towards becoming more aware and mindful. Some of these questions will give you a greater understanding and knowledge of yourself. Remember to be very open and honest with yourself. There is no right or wrong. Remove all self criticism or judgment of yourself if you want to truly get to know yourself.
What is your temperament type? Are you a feelings/facts person? When you are clarifying matters or expressing your emotions do you break them down into knowing the facts or are you more concerned about how it made you feel?
Are you detail orientated or focused merely on the gist of things? Think of your latest project and how you handled it.
Do you see yourself as reflective, spontaneous, decisive? When situations get heated, what is your usual manner of response?
Now think of the values you hold on to dearly. If you were to write down five top values that are important to you what would they be? Write them down, then list them from 1 to 5, 1 being the biggest priority.
Some ideas of values people have are:
Status. Leadership. Creativity. Empathy. Trust. Family. Commitment. Work. Yours may reflect these or be completely different- there are tons of values and that’s how diverse we are.
If you have some ideas listed above you’re doing great. Well done for getting to know yourself. I’m sure the acquaintance is welcomed.
Let’s look at your special interests. What kinds of books do you like reading, or maybe you don’t like reading? What do you love doing in your spare time? Where would you go to if you could close your eyes and be teleported to that space. Do you have a clear and main focused interest or do your interests vary? Are you interested in a host of things? List them.
All these thoughts you are having are wonderful. Save them for the end when you can write a letter to yourself, as if you were writing to a new pen pal and you were letting this pen pal know a little about you.
Remember to think about your skills and strengths; your weaknesses and blind spots.
Rack your brain a little about your skill sets. How do you communicate? Are you a loner or team player? Are you internally motivated or externally driven? How do you problem solve?
If you are daring enough, you may want to ask a close friend or family member to gently let you in on a secret. The part about yourself you don’t know much about, that observers see and are aware of. This will give you a fuller grasp on the real you. Knowing ourselves from our own perspectives is great but knowing ourselves from the perspectives of others is deeply insightful and awakening.
Once you have notes made on yourself, write a letter to yourself. Schedule in some ME time. Perhaps indulge in one of your interests and reflect on the unique qualities that are both strengths and weaknesses. Be proud of both as they are yours, only you own them. Become comfortable with your findings, embrace the untapped you, wholeheartedly. None of us are perfect, the imperfections bring us little blessings too, and without them you wouldn’t be YOU.